Cricket horror

(story picked up from Patrick Kidd)

No, this is not a reference to India’s batting form in Sri Lanka. A new horror film releases this week and it’s rather originally titled I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer. Here’s the IMDB on the film’s plot.

A cricket team are dismissed by a moustachioed serial killer with a razor sharp cricket glove and an arsenal of sharpened stumps. One by one the killer exacts revenge for the torment he endured 20 years earlier.

Sounds like a good way for England to handle Australia, except that the film surprisingly is from Australia.

Here’s a YouTube trailer of the film.

I’d rather watch Yuvraj Singh against Ajantha Mendis.

The next crisis in cricket

The cricket web sites are yet to latch on to it, but one of the news channels in India had this staggering revelation: Shahid Afridi has claimed that he has not performed well with the bat recently because someone has been using black magic and casting bad luck spells at him.

It is a real tragedy that the game should be denied its due by such travesties. The success of the game attracts too many envious elements – bodyline, Packer, ball tampering, match-fixing, Lalit Modi and now, black magic. We need to cleanse the game of these. Then, Shahid Afridi will be the Don Bradman he is in terms of potential. And Pakistan will be Australia. Oh well, does that suggest a conspiracy theory? No, I’m not saying anything.

In search of the perfect cricketer (and the perfect cure)

The Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) has commissioned a couple of experts to build an ideal male tennis player. And while they were at it, The Telegraph decided to take the concept further in this story: Search for perfection: the ultimate sportsman.

Derek Pringle did his bit of gene-mixing and came up with a combination of Mike Brearley’s brains, Sir Don Bradman’s steely will, Sir Ian Botham’s (I almost forgot to genuflect here) legs, Shane Warne’s right hand and wrist and Wasim Akram’s left arm. It’s impressive that Pringle has one non-English non-Australian name and two Australian ones; and only two Englishmen out of the five. You can read the full rationale of his choices here. As also the ingredients of the perfect tennis player, golfer, footballer, and rugby player. I wish cricket involving England would start soon – it’s not too safe to let these English cricket writers loose on non-play days.

On a different note, a friend forwarded me this story: Cure for Sachin’s nervous nineties. I’m sure it is a humorous piece, though there’s no indication anywhere on the page. And if it’s not, it’s really funny.