The ECB (or at least their web site, at any rate) has begun England’s tour of Sri Lanka on an ominous note – their headline summing up the last day of the practice match against the Sri Lanka Cricket Board President’s XI ran: Delicious entrée from Cook. Considering the England line-up for this tour, we are bound to be served (apologies; that was not a deliberate usage, I assure you) more than a fair share of plays on people’s names. Well, imagine possibilities like “The Bell tolls for Sri Lanka”, “England Broad-minded today”, “Sri Lanka don’t cut the Mustard”, “England’s Swann Song” and the like. And I don’t even want to venture in the direction of Sidebottom. Small relief then, that the likes of Joyce, Maddy, Read, Trott and Yardy, to name just five, are not part of the team. No thank you, we would have lost our Onions.